As of yesterday I’ve been divorced for three years. I keep wondering when it won’t matter anymore. When I’ll forget the day. When I will stop being pissed that I decided that an October divorce date was okay with me. October used to be my favorite month. It’s cool, but generally sunny and not snowing. The leaves are absolutely gorgeous. Pumpkin things are in full effect and there are no holidays that involve me wrapping nine zillion things or driving a zillion hours. We’ve generally gotten back into the school routine by now and the darker Sunday mornings have always made me happy. While all of those other things are still true, there is this undertone of bleh-ness that follows me through the month.
Yesterday I was depressed and actually took the day off work and watched Flip or Flop on HGTV all day in bed. Today I’m pissed off at the world and all the things and just GAH!
I’ve really tried not to care. But I guess I still do. Maybe next year.